Let's have a chat about your band
You're not very good, your sound is bland
You play so fast and play so loud
The Exploited would be proud

However this noise is not allowed
Stop right now or turn it down
Lets make it clear if i hear
Another sound come out of here, you're out of here, you're out of here

Lets have a chat about your nan
I am not her fancy man
I'm bachelor with a simple plan
To stay that way - do you understand?

Your sordid gossip is not allowed
Stop right now, just Turn it down
Lets make it clear if i hear
Another lie come to my ear, you're out of here, you're out of here

Lets have a chat about your cat
The one who shat on my doormat
Sorry to say I've got your cat trapped
Better shut up if you want her back