Help Is On The Way

Help Is On The Way

AndreaB's picture


Liner Notes: 

WHEN: Monday Skirmish September 20, 2021 8pm BST, 3pm EDT, 2pm CT, 12noon PDT

THEME/TITLE: Last Minute - could be a change of plans, procrastination, surprise plot twist, great escape just in the nick of time... what does "last minute" mean to you?

TAGS: skirmish, songskirmish, s092021, feast, last minute
WHAT: We will have a one hour skirmish to write to a prompt.*
HOST: @vivalarayna


9-1-1 what's your emergency

Help, help someone is trying to break-in

Dispatching help to your location
Stay on the line
Help is on the way

In her house
Sarah hides
Locks the bathroom door from inside

Glass shatters
A creaking door
Footsteps are heard across the floor

Help is on the way
You're going to be okay
Help is on the way

Sarah cries
Silent tears
Trying to calm her raging fears

Nail file
Weapons of choice as she lies in wait

Help is on the way
You're going to be okay
Help is on the way

Creaking stairs
He's at the door
Siren's approach in a thunderous roar

Running feet
Running away
Sarah will live to see a new day

Help is on the way
You're going to be okay
Help is on the way

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


Robyn Mackenzie's picture

What a suspenseful story! I like the alternation between the terrifying break-in and the reassurance of "help is on the way." Nice take on the skirmish!

Russ Keys's picture

Very good building of suspense. I'd love to hear what music goes with this kind of story.

cindyrella's picture

Amazing and made my heart race so suspenseful. Good one!

Sunfire's picture

A lot of nail biting suspense which climaxes in relief. Good story.

coolparadiso's picture

Great idea and really well written, a complete story, a scary but unfortunately not uncommon issue! kudos

Nahlej381's picture

Very intense! You tell a big story without any clutter. My lyricism is just stream of consciousness word bilimia I need to be better at being concise. This was really cool!

kahlo's picture

Intense and exciting! My heart was pumping! Reminded me of a break in to a house I lived in where the neighbor across the street called me to say someone was breaking into my house and told me to hide away from the living room and not to say anything as she had already called police and they would be there any minute - that was the longest few minutes in my life. You captured that so well here with the punchy short lines that create such suspense and anticipation!

KateStantonSings's picture

Oh my! I second Liz. This is exciting and I love it. A John Carpenter-inspired piano that builds and builds would be so cool with a lower male vocal narrating the story. Just an idea. Well-written!!

vivalarayna's picture

Eek! That's a scary story with great details that draw the reader in. I like the use of hairspray and nail file as that really is all that would be on hand. You set the scene quite well.