headfirstonly's picture
Artist Favorite



Liner Notes: 

Today I caught up with my doctor for the first time this year and discovered that the consultation with the nephrologist which I've been waiting for since last November had somehow been 'forgotten about'.

I was not happy. It means that no progress has been made since March 2020. I have kidney stones in both kidneys. Believe me when I say it's not pleasant.

So please forgive this dark little piece of seething, repressed rage...

Edit (4th September): I noticed during a listen on headphones that one of the loops I was using was four bars out, so I went back and fixed it and took the opportunity to tame the ride cymbal and generally tighten up the mix at the same time. Really pleased with this one now, so I've tagged it as a favourite.


Let me introduce myself
I spoke to you last year
You said that you'd get back to me,
but somehow I have yet to to hear
I don't mind a bit of waiting
I know you're a busy man
but I've been finding this frustrating,
two years on since it began
I think it's time this was concluded,
if it's all the same to you
I don't believe I'm being deluded
in saying resolution's way past due

Feels like the system that I've fallen through
Is nothing short of rotten
You didn't do the things you said you'd do
because I have been forgotten

The news has left me quite distressed
and I am overcome with gloom
Right now I think it's for the best
that you're not with me in this room
I thought that we were making progress,
that soon I'd finally get a call
But someone else has had to confess
that you've done nothing at all
I try to manage expectations;
disappointment's something I avoid
but mounting anger and frustration
has made me quite a bit annoyed

The past year's not been easy
but I'm done with cutting slack
This pain makes me feel queasy,
I want my good health back
I've been extremely understanding,
but I've had enough of being sick
As of now, I'm going to start demanding:
I want to get this sorted, quick
I think a year's enough digression
While my condition's not severe
I only have a single question:
how do we move on from here?

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


wobbie wobbit's picture

sorry to hear that Chris, how frustrating! i like how the backing is like a pot of bubbling seething yet all within a measured self control. i hope you get it sorted soon

dzd's picture

There is a lot of bubbling anger trying to contain itself in this. Even in the delivery. A very excellent audio version of count to ten and breathe before you do anything rash!

"Feels like the system I've fallen through is nothing short of rotten" Really loved this line and it applies to sooooo many systems.

K.C.'s picture

WoW! the lyric is killer. The tension is twisted tight! Production and performance is great!

Holy shamoly,,, the tune just finished.... what a ride! Wow.


Amanda Rose Riley's picture

I LOVE that you wrote a song about this subject and made it musically good! You can really find a song on just about any topic on 50/90 and FAWM. I like how it kind of teeters between humor and pure frustrated venting. Tbh though I kept waiting for it to turn into a super metalcore song!

I hope it's nothing serious and I hope you get everything sorted soon. Although I feel like the song could apply to a lot of different bureaucratic nightmares as well.

richaaaay's picture

I hope this was therapeutic for you. Sounds like quite the unfortunate situation. Worthy of a song, even if it’s gloomy. Nice production and impressive guitar work.

geoff61's picture

This is really cool, sorry to see that you are experiencing the same issues as many others regarding the self induced Covid 19 healthcare vacuum we have gotten into in the UK.

Fuzzy's picture

A few years ago I went to the Emergency room at the hospital on Christmas Eve cos I was pretty sick.
Then I sat in the deserted waiting room at the X-Ray Dept. for 45 minutes until someone came out and said, "Oh, we thought you were coming tomorrow. We're closed now."
Your repressed anger is evident in your vocal delivery.
I'm liking the jittery guitars coupled with the active bass line.
Really great lyrics.
Excellent work here.

Jerry Pettit's picture

Wow, wow, wow! Glad I scrolled back to listen to this. Great music and I must be in a comparable mood today, since I just posted a rare "metal" song full of...downer sentiments.

Man, you've got some skills!