Not Quite Right

Not Quite Right

AndreaB's picture
Feast

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Lyrics: 

Not Quite Right

I've got this funny feeling
Something's not quite right
You've been working on the weekends
Late most every night
I've got a funny feeling
Something's not quite right

Don't want to find out later
That my suspicions were all true
It's time to play detective
And search for hidden clues

First I check the pockets
Of clothes left laying on the floor
Not even sure I'll notice
What it is I'm looking for

Maybe a slip of paper
with a number or a name
Incriminating evidence
To substantiate my claim

I've got this funny feeling
Something's not quite right
You've been working on the weekends
Late most every night
I've got a funny feeling
Something's not quite right

I rummage through your dresser
The chest under the bed
That's were I found the pictures
I'll never get out of my head

Arms tight around each other
A sparkle in your eye
But what really threw me was
Your lover was a guy

I had a funny feeling
Turns out I was right



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Comments

mikehex's picture

These lyrics really pull the reader in and brings them through the story. Strong work

vivalarayna's picture

Good storytelling here! You took us along for the ride. I particularly liked the chorus.

Serene's picture

Enjoyed this.. it's a great story. Liked the rhymes!

Zeekle's picture

A twist inside a twist, clever writing. I like the notion of that 'funny feeling'. Always trust your gut instincts. An ingenious tale of betrayal.

kahlo's picture

Very well written lyric that is sadly the kind of detective work people often feel a need to do … you did a great job with the details - succinct but superb in setting the scene and capturing the perspective of the main character. Great twist at the end.

Sunfire's picture

Excellent writing. Great twist at the end.

Roddy's picture

Fantastic work for a one hour challenge. You tell a really good story here. I like the details you set out regarding all the checking and investigating.

corinne54's picture

LOL! That made me laugh out loud. Very well crafted lyric, and a nice twist at the end!

K.C.'s picture

Great lyric... reads well, will make a catchy tune, Love the twist in the end! Smiling as I write! LOL

KC

greengrassgirl's picture

OOOH! I love this! A real story song with an unexpected twist! Very nice! What an imagination! Great rhyming.

Thanks, too, Andrea, for your comments on You Take Me There. I appreciate the listen.

wacha's picture

Wow, I thought I knew where this was going and you did a great job catching me off guard. This is a very well written so smart. Great work, especially considering it was a skirmish.