Voiceless
Post date:
Demo:
Liner Notes:
GYAWS title. A good one.
Mic: Roland R-05 handheld recorder
Guitar: Yairi DY-46
Lyrics:
I don't have the words to tell you
All the things I need to say
The darkness swallows up the evening
I feel I'm wasting our last day
Can't take the way you're staring at me
Looking through me like I'm gone
Can't help but feel you think I'm guilty
I don't know what I did so wrong
I wish I could tell you what I'm feeling
Wish I could make you understand
But the words just won't come to me
I guess I'm just a broken man
As I stand here voiceless
I can see you've started drifting
Do you know that I'm still here?
I clutch your hand and pull it to me
They tell me the end is very near
I wish I could tell you what I'm feeling
Wish I could make you understand
But the words just won't come to me
I guess I'm just a broken man
As I stand here voiceless
Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.
Comments
Oh this is so sad! A lot of ache in your voice as you were delivering this. Heartfelt and honest writing that hits you in the feels and draws you right into that room where your loved one is dying.
Nice song mate! that last line of the chorus nails it. strong guitar as always, the vox captures the emotion well!
fine capture of the alienation of the sick and dying as they fade from the material world into the voiceless void of eternity. the song also works as a metaphor for less ext reme cases of alienation...the drunkard, the convict, the homeless
Detecting a faint "Sixth Sense" potential twist in the lyrics. Regarding the protagonist as Bruce Willis totally flips the narrative and it fits eerily well...
Nicely rendered, as always. Guitar sounds great.
Really love this song, especially the chords in the verse at the end of the second line and the beginning of the third. The writing is really heart-felt, your production is good and the singing really hits. Nice job.
nice work! dark and interesting and ambiguous enough so it could be about endings of all sorts, not just the 'deathbed' thing. If you ever revisit it, I'd love the word 'voiceless' to stand out more, maybe with a different meter or something just for that word...