30-30...30? (Siobhan)

30-30...30? (Siobhan)

fresh spotless youth's picture

Tags: 

Demo: 

Collaborators: 

Liner Notes: 

This song was titled The Second Law of Thermodynamics. I'm not sure what the title should be.

Siobhan is my wife. Dang, we've been together for over 30 years. If I was trying to be accurate, I would say: "I was 25. You were 21. But that was 32 years ago." That doesn't have the same ring to it. Smile

Lyrics: 

I was thirty
You were thirty
But that was thirty years ago

Maybe someday
If we’re lucky
We’ll say:
Thirty years ago
We were happy
Just to see our daughter grown

We said we’d never look back
But Siobhany, here I go
We said we’d never look back
But Siobhany, here I go

We said we’d never look back
But from the future here I go



Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.

Comments

coolparadiso's picture

I think its worth pursuing, its really nice. It does sound like its just taking off, it would really love a big production coming in there!

I really like the simplicity of the acoustic approach. I would just add more of what you're doing. Love it!

Wolf Kier's picture

very very nice. A sentimental piece, clean clear and sharp in words. It works like this but you end on a perfect jumping off point (if you choose) to something much bigger and more elaborate.
Bonus is lyrically you've got 30 years of moments to draw upon. Congrats on that 30year achievement, many will never know that moment, and many of those who do, will not get there with that fresh spotless joy you seem to be exuding here. Smile .

billwhite51's picture

i like it just as is. no need to add nonsensical extras. but i dont believe you are 60 years old,

standup's picture

You've got a nice build going on so far, and I could imagine it getting bigger and bigger. And a big outro with a repeated "Looking back from the future" in stacked vocal harmonies. At least that's what I'd do.

Sweet song, I like the story and the message. And the nickname. I've never thought about the sound of Siobhany.

headfirstonly's picture

Short, sentimental and sweet and no, I've just got something in my eye, that's all. This song's great as it is. No need for anything else. The brevity makes it all the more powerful. Really good.

And that guitar sounds fine to me. Acoustics are way more difficult to record than electrics, and I can never get one to sound anywhere near as clear as this.

mike skliar's picture

right to the point, and as others have said, sweet and effective! nice work!

dzd's picture

This is really touching. I also hate recording acoustic it is what I play the majority of the time when just plunking around. I move too much when I play, I either hit the mic or get to far away from it/etc. This sounds good to me, and I too like it just short and sweet as it is.

I'm a bit torn on does this "need" more or not. I love it as it sits. The message is clear, but its also such a lovely tune and you did stop at a point where just going through it again and adding, like you said a cello, maybe a subtle electric line and go through it a few more times(maybe even just instrumental?) just thoughts..... I don't think it would hurt it, but I also don't think it needs it, but never know until you try Wink Really great track! and congratulations to the both of you!

mikehex's picture

I like this track a lot. It's kind of got an Elephant 6 or maybe a Mercury Rev vibe. I agree with headfirstonly, this is great as is.