Posted: Tue, 07/05/2011 - 07:53
Demo:
Liner Notes:
My next couple of planned lyrics are likely to be somber, so I figured I’d toss this bit of country fluff in first. (-:
The idea is from last year but was never completed. I’ve re-written the text, keeping only the shop metaphor. (Verse 3 needs tweaking, and I might add a verse 4.) Do we have a female country-singer type here to belt this out with twang and an attitude? In the meantime, here’s a quick a cappella version. (The melody can of course be changed to make it catchier and a whole lot more melodious.) Actually, male vocals would also suit if I adjust lines 3 & 4 in verse 1.
If anyone's interested in collaborating, please PM me or comment below. I'll get back to you.
Lyrics:
Shuttin’ The Shop
(v1)
You come draggin’ your tail
After months on end
Expectin’ me to sail
Into your arms again
V2
[But] your love keeps bouncin’
Like a rubber cheque
And post-dated promises
Have made me a wreck
Chorus
So I’m shuttin’ the shop
Tossin’ the key
I’ve taken inventory
Of you and me
[Now] I’m plum out of stock
I’m shuttin’ the shop
V3
Down come the blinds
On our summer-sale past
You thought you were the goods
But you’ve been outclassed
Chorus
And I’m shuttin’ the shop
Tossin’ the key
I’ve taken inventory
Of you and me
[Now] I’m plum out of stock
I’m shuttin’ the shop
Bridge
You ran up a bill
On my heartache and cryin’
But I’m no bargain basement
To browse without buyin’
Chorus
Yeah I’m shuttin’ the shop
Tossin’ the key
I’ve taken inventory
Of you and me
I’m plum out of stock
I’m shuttin’ the shop
© 2011 Donna Devine
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i love the lyrics, especially the chorus. i would absolutely love to hear the full blown version of this. i can tell it'll be good. great job.
Super catchy, Donna. VEry well written. You can feel the rhythym as you read through the lyrics. Really liked the second chorus.
Good metaphor and a nice treatment. It's fun picking up on all the phrase related to the main point.
Donna, this is Fantastic!!! What a creative song!
Hi Donna. This moves along nicely and I think a country gal would have a lot of fun with it! I like how it ends with those two concise lines. Enjoyable!
oooo... "post-dated promises" is such a good metaphor
+1 on being bowled over by the "bargain basement" section
Also, I think the pause you create before delivering the last line of the chorus is perfect! What a key thing to provide to your collaborator upfront. Don't let *anyone* talk you out of that!
Beautiful country lyrics, Donna! Love especially the chorus and the bridge. Would not change anything, but just leave all as it is.
Looking good.
As far as V 3--the last line makes it sound like someone new has come along, but that's never mentioned--Possible line 4 replacement--------
"But they're in the trash"
Love these two lines-----
But I’m no bargain basement
To browse without buyin’
Hey Donna, I can hear this as a slightly dirty lowdown country blues song - something about the way you phrased the first verse. Good work!
This made me smile. Let's hope she doesn't have a closing down sale for old times sake!
This made me smile. Let's hope she doesn't have a closing down sale for old times sake!
Hey there Donna -- looks like you off to a good start. It has a nice bounce/rhythm to it. Good luck on this year's 50/90!
Lovely Donna, perfect for a country style, hope you get that lady vocalist with bags of twang and attitude.