Posted: Sat, 09/17/2011 - 21:49
NOT SAFE FOR WORK
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Liner Notes:
Ummmm, we're in a hotel. With a lot of bottles of beer. And no way to open them.
Lyrics:
Got a fridgeful of beer, but got no way to open it
Counter top edges are all rounded
and we don't want to destroy the table
And the top of the door is just too high
How are we going to open the beer?
How are we going to open the beer?
How, oh how, oh how are we going to open the beer?
Binky used to have a swiss army knife
But got accused of carrying concealed weaponry
Helen used to have an opener on her keyring
But never got it back after she lent it out to her derby team
Tom had a old army P62 can opener
But figured he'd never make use of it
Ain't never going to go camping
So left it at home on this trip
Chorus
We tried to open it in the door
But we spilt it on the floor
What a fucking waste of beer
Get the fuck out of here
Crossman actually would like to carry
A bottle opener as concealed weaponry
But he says he doesn't live in a dangerous city
And Nancy so rarely drinks beer
Chorus
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The ending is so sad. I hope you got your beer open. But really, Screw Tops, people! It will save your life. Or the other thing is to break the top of the bottle and be very careful drinking it, which gets harder with each consecutive beer.
You guys make me laugh, but that could also be a little from the refreshing beverage I'm currently consuming. It's a little harder than beer, and was immensely easy to open. 
WOW. This is so awesome. The harmonies at the end are incredible. You guys are doing so good in that hotel room!
This is the SADDEST song I have heard all morning!
Someone once opened a beer for me using their teeth... I gave it away to someone else.
This sounds like a genuinely heartfelt song about needing beer. So much so, I think I'll have one myself. It also sounds like you guys had a kickass fun time.
This may be late, but I'm just gonna put this right here: http://www.urlesque.com/2010/09/20/open-beer-bottle-without-bottle-opener/
My favourite part is the bridge. Mostly because variations of fuck were used twice. And there was spilled beer. Hilarious. Good start, guys.
(But seriously, next time bring Devin!)
Did anyone think of asking the front desk. I know, hindsight is a wonderful thing...
I think this should become an anthem for all traveling musicians. If it's not already.
A kingdom for a churchkey! I used to have a friend who could open bottled beer with his teeth. He's not in Chicago, though. Well, he could be; I don't have any way of knowing that he isn't. Great drinking song, this. Or great "we should be drinking but we can't" song. Anyway, get them beers opened, by hook or by crook.
Sung with a sincere clarity and gusto, fragrant hops, and American rice rather than barley. The spontaneous and frothy harmonizing suggests the presence of several individuals actually drinking beer, even several frosted mugs or coming to a nice frothy head; an illusion difficult to create in the studio or when the beer remains un-opened or indeed in bottles at all. Impressive. I myself use my keys --- careful not to bend 'em, as they can stop functioning as keys when suitably bent (true of humans as well). Well done, Lads and Ladies! An inspired effort, worthy of another round. Wish I could join in!