I Wish I Could Say

I Wish I Could Say

Amanda Rose Riley's picture



I Wish I Could Say (50/90 Challenge)

Liner Notes: 

As the challenge draws to a close, I'm definitely writing shorter songs with less of a structure. In a way some of them seem to go nowhere, but in this case I feel like the lack of structure as well as being at the VERY bottom of my range in the first half, really conveys the mood of a deep depression that I was going for. Don't worry, though I am prone to depression, this isn't really me right now. (I'm more anxious now, ha!) I wrote down the first two lines once when I *was* in a deep depression, and in the same way as most of these songs started, I found it in my idea list and thought it would be simple to finish.

One thing I'm proud of about this song is I practiced my ability to write about images a little bit. I really spend too much of writing on feelings without using any kind of imagery, let alone metaphor, which I still need to work on.


I wish I could say that I was happy today, but I'm not
I wish I could say that it was going okay, but it’s not
And the landline rings several dozen times as the calendar marks the days
As a perfect message to remind me that I'm still here, wasting space

I wish I could say that I was doing okay, but I'm not
I wish I could say it was a promising day, but it's not
And the only sound is tacky dialogue from the sitcoms that I watch all day
And the laugh track tries to tell me when to crack a smile, but it doesn't work that way

I give everybody but myself the benefit of the doubt
He’s just busy, she’s just having a bad day, I'm just not worth it
Because I’ll always remember what I couldn’t do and never the things that I did
I am forever at war with what I can’t do, don’t know and can’t explain

But I just remind myself, either it'll work out in the end or I will die trying
And the dead can never disappoint, and the dead can’t be disappointed

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


coolparadiso's picture

youve done well if thats the bottom of the range - sounds great! This is a really good song - nicely done like this but could be a monster with production! very enjoyable i love the lyrical flow!

musicsongwriter's picture

Moving song. So glad to hear it is only partly about you. We live in the time when depression and anxiety is shriving. I think letting it out by creating songs about it has a soothing effect and helps people who feel this way know that they are not alone. Beautiful song. Your voice sounds lower than I heard before but it's very pretty also. Loving listening to your songs.

wobbie wobbit's picture

love the way the music kind of uncurls in the second half, and even though the final lines are stark there is a humour in them i think, a bright side of the worst case scenario. the second half might seem down on yourself still but with a positive realisation and i get the sense of standing up from the first half of the song. really like the melody in that second half too. engaging song and lovely performance