Better

Better

Stephen Wordsmith's picture

Tags: 

Liner Notes: 

Based on an experience i had yesterday that I wasn't sure how to articulate in song. Stumbled across the thread and quickly discovered it was the fit I needed.

Lyrics: 

Last years' models crawl like one-year-olds
Start and stop, like hearts. Start and stop
To my right, the sun beds down
Painting the world orange
Smiles, 'It gets better'
Let the traffic
Start and stop.
Better.
Soon.



Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.

Comments

AndyGetch's picture

Ahhh. This works. Very well. Even catchy. Capturing the scene. Reminds me of that time. I opened that magazine. Dare I say experiential. Maybe I guess you had to be there.

metalfoot's picture

I have no clever comments. Just wanted to say this works well.

nancyrost's picture

That "start and stop" repetition is perfect, using the rhythm of the form to draw parallels between the toddlers, hearts, sun, cars. I like the specificity of the sun to your right painting the world orange. A lot packed into nine lines. Glad you got home!

wobbie wobbit's picture

i like the sketch feel of the poetic lines. and the repetition is nice. good to see your nonet challenge entry

mike skliar's picture

once i realized what it was about, it all clicked- nice! just did this challenge as well..

nice work!

headfirstonly's picture

Lovely stuff! "Better. / Soon." is a great ending (crosses fingers that it comes true).

splittybooms's picture

A lot of times, I'm not clever (or awake) enough to decipher lyricist's real meanings in their words. This is one of those times. But I still can appreciate that you have painted a picture for me, and that its unique to my mind's eye. Is this about sitting in traffic and observing the different vehicles as you just sit there? That's what is in my head. And the 'smile' line is (probably way off) making me think of cars like mine, where the front grill looks like a big grin and kinda makes me smile, too.

Tim Fatchen's picture

It's like Victoria fading out from the rest of Australia...