Autumn

Autumn

barbara's picture

Tags: 

Liner Notes: 

Written to Corinne’s Sunday Skirmish prompt today: “Autumn”

I had a melody and some half-baked chords while writing, but I’m unlikely to demo this due to heavy work demands on my time. If anyone feels drawn to add music, that would be cool!

I also feel like it needs a better title.

Thanks, as always, @corinne54!

Lyrics: 

V1
Autumn wears a leaf in her hair
She’s been climbing up the cliffs for sunset
Won’t wear a jacket, she likes the cool air
And she lies down on the ground for full contact

V2
Nothing timid in her smile
She believes if something’s real you should show it
When the wind sneaks up on her, she laughs ‘til she cries
There’s so much that she just doesn’t know yet

C
open doors, open eyes
open heart, no disguise
growing roots, making ties
but she’s prepared for swift goodbyes

V3
Autumn sits and welcomes the dark
Now she’ll rely on her other senses
Life is showing her the key to her heart
It’s a dare to travel without defenses

C
open doors, open eyes
open heart, no disguise
growing roots, making ties
but she’s prepared for a swift goodbye

B
A crisp moon, just a sliver of light
She puts her faith in what she hopes will be right
She feels the world turning fast, against her skin
The deep night begins to welcome her in

C
Open doors, open eyes
open heart, no disguise
growing roots, making ties
But she’s prepared herself for swift goodbyes
Yes, she’s prepared for a swift goodbye
like the last ray of sunset in her eyes
she’s prepared for a swift goodbye



Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.

Comments

mike skliar's picture

really evocative lyric, with great turns of phrase- i love how the chorus melds it all together, with the poetically killer line 'prepared for a swift goodbye' lying in wait, like that threat of winter's early arrival- great great lyric!

Zeekle's picture

Such a great story being told. The verses seem to flow and the chorus picking up the pace, like a flurry of autumn winds... really lovely.

AndyGetch's picture

Such a wonderful character sketch with a bit of mystery as to how she got there and what happens next.

musicsongwriter's picture

Beautiful, very evocative lyrics Barbara. Hope you'll get the chance to demo them. I can hear your beautiful, poignant vocals and playing.
Nadia

corinne54's picture

The personification of Autumn, only just beginning her coming into being and not quite knowing yet what her season will fully be as it progresses...really fine work, Barbara. I too would love to hear YOUR music for this lyric. I think only you could do it justice

Marilisa's picture

Gorgeous! Really love how you've personified Autumn - can really see her there! And I love the structure of it all, and the rhymes throughout the chorus (especially with the extra lines in the last chorus). Nice work!

coolparadiso's picture

A very full and well constructed lyric, especially in skirmish time . I think it will be a fine song!

kahlo2013's picture

This is such a compelling and evocative lyric that creates a sense of wonder, a feeling of urgency, and an ominous feel. While I want to focus on the positive and see her as a confident introspective woman who is empowered to make a decisive decision for the better I worry that the dark of night and the cliff all along with a commitment to a swift goodbye leads to a wholly different conclusion. I love how it lends the listener - or maybe it is me - to the uncertainly. Really powerful writing!

tjeff's picture

Depicting Autumn as a person is an interesting and delightful point of view. Lots of good colorful descriptions and a strong chorus. I like this a lot.

tcelliott's picture

I love the personification and the images. You've created quite the picture with those verses. And I like the contrast in lyrical style with the chorus. This works very well for me.

Roddy's picture

This is very deep. You have created a persona for Autumn and made her a complex, intriguing and magical character. So many excellent lines and such a strong overall story. Very good writing.

metalfoot's picture

Great personification of Autumn and lovely writing throughout.

cleanshoes's picture

I love these lyrics. There is so much meaning to dive into with the personification of autumn, and the changing seasons of weather and life. I particularly like the line, "she lies down on the ground for full contact." Beautiful work!

Donna Devine's picture

Autumn, my favourite time of the year. Can't believe how beautifully you've captured the season's gorgeous essence. Wonderful use of personification, and exquisite imagery. The piece would not be out of place in an anthology of highest-quality poetry. Smile