don't wanna die

don't wanna die

tsunamidaily's picture


Liner Notes: 

this was the first song i wrote for the 100/180 challenge, which i thought i needed really badly, and then quarantine ended. what i really needed was the re-recording of songs from my past repertoire that i accomplished during the quarantine. i posted some of them on the 100/180 facebook page, but not all.
but this was a song i needed to write, i could not get the image out of my head of how these people died, alone and intubated at the end, unable to finish anything in their life they needed to wrap up. i think that image is what spurred my re-recordings. i wanted those songs to at least be represented in a somewhat final form. there were over a hundred i picked-- 30 got done, just a bout the time of my personal quarantine. then life slipped back in and i'm recording no more.
so i hope this touches you, even if it churns your stomach slightly as it does mine. and let it motivate you as well.

if you can't stand cheaters in 50/90, this was written 3 months ago. so let it be then, and i apologize for offending your sensibilities.


(c) 04.09.2020 time and ink

verse 1

i'm writing this now, while i still can
in between the tests and the scans
the later it gets, it's harder to breathe
not sure i'll even have time to grieve

don't wanna write this but i guess i should try
truth is i don't wanna die.

verse 2

it hurts a good bit and i'm easily tired
but i'm willing to do whatever's required
the worst part is that no-one can visit
if they could i wouldn't wanna risk it

my thoughts drive me mad-- i'm not gonna lie
i just don't wanna die.

verse 3

i just want to see my family and friends
don't want this to be the way it all ends
never got the chance to get stuff squared away
there's people to see and things to say

if prayin would work, god knows i'd try
no, i don't wanna die... alone.


i don't wanna die, no i don't wanna die
i sleep and i weep and i sigh and i cry
they're wrong-- today's not a good day to die
i just don't wanna die... alone.

verse 4

they tell me there isn't much more they can do
i'm going to die from this wretched new flu
soon they'll come put me under and tube me
no promise it'll work-- but they'll see

so call up my family and set down the phone
i just don't want to die alone.


no i just don't wanna die alone.

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


Jackketch's picture

You've captured well the sense of isolation that those who went, and are going through this experience, must feel. Your imagery is very vivid. Good job.

tjeff's picture

A poetic and poignant take on this subject. Very good rhyming without making it sound forced, and you definitely convey the seriousness of the matter. I like this a lot.

Donna Devine's picture

A difficult subject, but you've handled it well and in a balanced manner. Those stories broke my heart. It was the suddenness in many instances that was so awful. One minute people where alive and well, and then sometimes within hours or even a few days they were gone. The grief and shock that's been left behind is beyond imagining.

IA's picture

Hmm, yea, I wonder what people do think in their last moments.

Hollywood and books and whatever paint their own pictures, but how accurate are they? I'd imagine I'd be scared, but who knows. Maybe the people who were sure they were going to die and were miraculously brought back. I don't know, it's an interesting thought.

This is very thought-provoking. Like how much will these things matter in the end. Will we see the meaninglessness of it all or cling to some sort of idk absolution. If somebody is there, will we die less alone?

Well, in any case, the lyric is terrifying! I'd hate to have that experience for sure. So... good job on bringing this all to life.