When Will My Last Failure Be?
Part of the second challenge I set for myself, which is to write a mini musical over the course of a few days. (Sorry I'm not uploading the songs in order but when I'm finished I will add a track list so listeners can go through the whole thing if they wish.) It actually stems for a story idea I had as a child about a girl who went through her whole life trying to be "extraordinary" by trying out all these different things and pushing herself to her limits, but never satisfied because she never had any extraordinary accomplishments, and at the end she realized that all her efforts actually made her extraordinary. I suppose it reflected my own tendencies and I wanted to reassure myself that I am great in my own way, so the songs I'm writing are somewhat autobiographical.
I wrote this song as a self-aware perfectionist, so I'm aware that the mindset portrayed in this song is unhealthy, and I exaggerated it somewhat. I thought that was an interesting challenge to write from a point of view I don't necessarily wholly feel. It also helps me work on myself by seeing my mindset on display like this!
My life can get started on that day
When I have reached perfection
It's not that I stay inside - I go out every day and I try
It's not that I never smile - I'm happy almost all the time
But something will always be missing until I have found my stride
When will I arrive
When will I see what I'm meant to see
Where do I belong?
And when will my last failure be?
I know they say nobody can be perfect
But I don't believe them
When a soloist starts to play, how can that be the case?
When the actor's on the stage, there's not a lot of room for mistakes
And how can you look me and say that I can never learn to be that great?
And sometimes the people who love me will say
That I'm doing just fine and moving right along towards a dream
They go too easy on me
And sometimes strangers will help in little ways
With opportunities they give, and offering to act as a guide
But I know they're just being kind
And even if they weren't, whose standards should matter but mine
And mine say I'm not good enough yet
Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.