A Beard Called Frank

A Beard Called Frank

Amanda West's picture

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Liner Notes: 

This is just for @OdilonGreen, cus he asked nicely Wink

Sorry, I simply couldn't work Bigfoot into it, and I did try !

Lyrics: 

I've tried to grow face fuzz for year upon year
And I've fed it each morning on porridge and beer
Sadly however it didn't grow much
And it's still like a baby to look at and touch

And I won't give up Frank
Not a bit will I quit
And I'll love every white hair
No matter how thick

I used Vaseline and that stuff that smells bad
I even soaked nettles in vodka and crab
There was also that time I tried getting the snip
But I ended up feeling a bit of a dick

And I won't give up Frank
Not a bit will I quit
And I'll love every white hair
No matter how thick

Sometimes it gets knotted and full of old food
Gone mouldy and sticky with bits that I've spewed
And then I need something to rub in and hope
That I still look all right and a really cool bloke

And I won't give up Frank
Not a bit will I quit
And I'll love every white hair
No matter how thick



Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.

Comments

Graceville's picture

Awesome. I know the feeling. There are up- and downsides having a beard. When bycicling with chewing gum, the beard gets stuck in the gum. I never eat spare ribs in public and an other user here called it a soup catcher.

motisbeard's picture

My last name is BEARD, and I am contacting the ACLU about this hate crime you've perpetrated.

No, but seriously, you've got a great grasp on poetic meter that is very sorely lacking in so many would-be lyricists; it's refreshing to be able to read something like this and hear in the mind's ear all the words and stresses fall into their proper places.

Tim Fatchen's picture

Hahahaha! Off with beards sez I (nothing to do with my inability to grow a decent one) Loved the mouldy food. There's a waltz in here!

fresh spotless youth's picture

Hmmm...this is a fine addition to the genre. I especially appreciate the rich and vibrant details. Nettles soaked in vodka and crab--that should work. I think we all need to write one. Has anyone written one about tonsuring chest hair?

IA's picture

You really are the master of writing this hilarious stuff that just flows so nicely.

I bow to you.

At the same time... I'm going to learn how to do it myself. I don't know how... or when... or... well the point is I don't know many things!!

My favorite bits are "nettles in vodka".... "snip // bit of a dick" Biggrin .... and "really cool bloke". Vivid! Vivid stuff. Hat's off.