Leafing Through to You

Leafing Through to You

barbara's picture



Liner Notes: 

Today’s skirmish prompt “leaf” immediately called up the phrase “I’m leafing through your papers” and I followed it’s trail.

My mom’s passing has been on my mind recently. Her birthday was two days ago, and it’s the second one since she died. One thing she truly loved was walking in the woods by the river in the fall, and it’s how we celebrated that day while she was still capable. So you’ll see that hinted at.

But the other piece is that we are still not finished combing through boxes of her belongings, mostly files of all types. Her tendency to keep things is a problem I share, and the older I get, the more it burdens and concerns me. So the lamenting tone is more for the sadness of living in that anxiety-driven, emptiness-filling hoarding pattern, than for the loss due to her dying. That grief is no longer a fresh wound, and the song distorts reality a bit in sounding like it might be. So please know you don’t need to tread lightly around this song.


Leafing Through to You

I’m leafing through your papers
(The ones you) never could discard
All documents too sacred
(To treat with) wasteful disregard

I’m leafing through Gram’s Bible
A book you never read
But kept since the inheritance
In dust beside your bed

I’m wandering your property
As fall itself descends on me
The blue above is startling
I can’t believe you’re gone

I’m leafing through my memories
Deciding what to keep
Old criticisms, pettiness
I’ll toss upon the heap

Now bagging up the residue
To shed the extra, it’s not you
Protection never came from piles
Our safety lived in honest smiles.

I’m wandering your property
As fall itself descends on me
The blue above is startling
It confirms you’re really gone

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


metalfoot's picture

A heartwrenching tale-- all the more because it's true-- and it rings close to home as I hear my parents talk about cleaning up their parents' estates and realizing that some day sooner than I'd like... that will be my job.

coolparadiso's picture

Yes sad but very recognisable. Sadly I've done this a few times. Very well done . Nice skirmish.

mike skliar's picture

this is wonderful- the music and lyric are such a great fit- and the lyric has a wellspring of wisdom expressed in striking images- 'protection never came from piles/our safety lived in honest smiles' is such a great couplet.

musicsongwriter's picture

Very beautiful music and lyrics, I feel sad for you. You've created a very beautiful tribute to your mother and your song is a very special answer to a skirmish prompt. Gorgeous singing and playing.

MarkG's picture

Beautiful song, with evocative lyrics and images. The unread Bible from her mother, now yours perhaps to remain unread. Throw out the old criticisms and pettiness, keeping the memories you wish to remember. Lovely

jcollins's picture

Looking at the lyrics...v1 I actually ended reading all the way too where it says "I can’t believe you’re gone". You can tell it was going to be something like this in just the lyrics themselves, I think...Yeah, I have some leafing going on over here too. Great job on the lyrics...I'm ready for the audio now...hold. guitar...sounds good...vocals now...your papers...good melody...nice playing the arpeggio guitar. Vocal lift here...can't believe you're gone...my memories...deciding what to keep...your really gone and out...very nice.

cindyrella's picture

So beautiful and tender..You captured so perfectly the sadness of a mother's passing and the things left behind. Simply wonderful

AndyGetch's picture

Reminds me that I have some boxes of mine to go through.

kahlo2013's picture

What a beautifully poignant and personal take on the skirmish - the story you share has me right there with you looking at all of these things. The words really deliver a sense of connection, memory, warmth, and love. The gentle, tender acoustic delivery feels so loving and intimate. This is a wonderful skirmish write. Thanks for sharing it!

JWHanberry's picture

A wonderful look at a task we all have to face at some point. I am at least a third generation hoarder of paper. You told the story well. Also well played and sung. Great skirmish.

corinne54's picture

Leave it to you (no pun intended) to go deeper into meaning and feelings in your words.This is absolutely gorgeous writing - both music and lyrics. And of course, there's your beautifully expressive voice. Just wonderful, Barbara

Fuzzy's picture

Yeah, this song speaks to me; my father died in 2017 and I spent the entire summer going through piles and piles of paper, like 30 years worth of monthly electricity bills that he saved for some reason.
Sometimes, though, it was a real struggle to have to decide what to keep and what to get rid of.
So I get where you're coming from here.
Lovely heartfelt guitar work and lots of emotion in your vocals.
Really great lyrics.
Nicely done!

standup's picture

Really amazing job for a skirmish. Powerful song, and very pretty. We all will experience this in some way. I keep some things that seem sacred, thinking I'll go back to them someday. But that's not the truth.