Bloodlines

Bloodlines

ChariotBaldwin's picture

Tags: 

Liner Notes: 

I had a different idea in mind, but when I started writing, I couldn't remember it

the chorus is pretty crap but I think that's cos there's too many words or two many ideas.

turned it into a climate change song, but it's still not great.

fawm-ing it for now. Sad

Lyrics: 

Bloodlines
(c) Christine M Kerr
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 2019
Too many words, too many ideas in one song
But at least I’ve hit 20 songs at last

V
Is this the last time we’ll see the stars?
Can I have one more night in your arms
Maybe it’s time to whisper
Since yelling doesn’t work
I want to keep you from Harm

V
I’m ashamed that I can remember
Easier and happier times
Maybe it’s time to whisper
Since yelling doesn’t work
We let the corporations rob us blind

CH
Who will watch the bloodlines?
Who will kiss the rain?
Who will be the one change our Fate?
Will you watch from the sidelines?
Or will you lead the change?
Who will watch the bloodlines of our race
Who will watch the bloodlines of our fate?

Oooooh, Oooooh, Oooooh, Oooooh
Oooooh, Oooooh, Oooooh, Oooooh

V
Tomorrow we will all take to the streets
To show the world we won’t stand by any more
Maybe it’s time to whisper
Since yelling doesn’t work
Before our Mother declares war

CH
Who will watch the bloodlines?
Who will kiss the rain?
Who will be the one change our Fate?
Will you watch from the sidelines?
Or will you lead the change?
Who will watch the bloodlines of our race
Who will watch the bloodlines of our fate?

Oooooh, Oooooh, Oooooh, Oooooh
Oooooh, Oooooh, Oooooh, Oooooh

CH
Who will watch the bloodlines?
Who will kiss the rain?
Who will be the one change our Fate?
Will you watch from the sidelines?
Or will you lead the change?
Who will watch the bloodlines of our race
Who will watch the bloodlines of our fate?



Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.

Comments

metalfoot's picture

There are a lot of words here; I don't think this is quite as bad as you think it is. Feels like it could be a heavy metal track.

kahlo2013's picture

I like the direction this is going a lot. The seriousness of the message is conveyed well. I think the different ideas work well - the uncertainty of the future and the ill outcomes if we don’t do more now to change the course. Bloodlines is a cool word but it also has a bit of a negative connotation to me as watching out for ourselves and those like us - our race - as if we don’t care about the fate of those different -who are not our bloodlines.

ustaknow's picture

This works well, "Maybe it’s time to whisper, Since yelling doesn’t work".

To me, and as you write, it looks like a question, yet telling us Smile -- you look as if trying to define, tell, explain, the feeling for the listener to have.
-- Mind pictures are for the listener to have and the magic of a song if allowed to occur, ime/imo.

So, for me, in the chorus, "who will kiss the rain" - is the line, ambiguously specific, enough.

Moreover, depending on tempo and phrasing with music can be the better part of it. That would be up to how it gets musicated.

A verse "could" attempt to explain a chorus in a linear build, such as, "who will be able to drink the rain", like your line 1 in verse 1. If the sky is choked with mud, certainly all this could come to mind.

And as well, "me", I'd drop the "corporate" line, -- it will chase away a good percentage of listeners, well, unless you want to accomplish that ? since the "branding" of mind picture from that is currently out of control, your, our control. So unless writing for "that" use as with like I like to cite, "blowing in the wind" -- effective in the good sense emotional hook it provides to allow calmness of thought, or as you write, --
"Maybe it’s time to whisper
Since yelling doesn’t work"

Or as the old recycled blues line idomatically goes, "cry'in won't help ya, pray'in won't do ya no good" Wink

Yes, walking into someones house and first calling them an ashehole instead of telling them it's on fire, well, the focus won't be on the fire, -- unless you want their house to burn? Our house collectively it would seem.

I think it could otherwise musicate well. It brings to mind the song, "who'll stop the rain". Possibly a cliche "CCR" reference, but came to mind because the rythmic melody of the syntax of the words fits, could fit, that beat.

billwhite51's picture

you tackle this theme with appreciable restraint, resulting in a more poetic and universal song than a simple take it the streets to protest political indifference to climate change diatribe.