The Unseen

The Unseen

corinne54's picture


Liner Notes: 

I was sitting in the park (as I am wont to do on a Sunday), and decided the skirmish prompt should be "Unseen". At first I thought I would write about ghosts, but then I was also thinking about the displaced, dispossessed Mexican immigrants. I started to write a "cello" part on the Garageband app, and planned on working on a melody, but couldn't do it in time, and had to high tail it home. Maybe I'll finish this later


At midnight, in broad daylight
You know they’re there
Whether In shadows or brights
You’re well aware
Their presence cannot be denied
The Unseen, those that hide

They used to be like you and me
But to us, it doesn’t matter
Because we refuse to see
How their lives are shattered
Preyed upon by those who’ve lied
The Unseen, those who’ve cried

It’s a story we’re doomed to repeat again and again
How long before we become one of them?
As we’re kicked and shoved aside
The Unseen, those who’ve died

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


phoenixash's picture

Unexpectedly, a ghost story. Seems menacing. As cello can be both sad and threatening I don't know what to imagine for this one... but it'll probably turn out awesome.

Chip Withrow's picture

The idea of Garageband cello intrigues me - I have never used the app on my phone, but I love the evocative sound of cello. I can imagine a cello melody with your words.
Stark, scary yet somehow beautiful words. That last verse cuts deep.
Thanks, as always, for the prompt!

cindyrella's picture

I so want to hear this with the cello. Beautifully written!

headfirstonly's picture

Powerful social comment, turning in to a ghost story in the final verse? I'm in. Great writing; the variants on the last line of each verse will make a great hook!