Would You Rather?

Would You Rather?

Aging Ophelia's picture


Liner Notes: 

I was just going to do a crucio when I saw a file in my docs called Would You Rather-- this file is questions from what BeauTubers call a "tag," and the questions are basically a makeup-related thought experiment. Don't ask why I have them filed.

My mind immediately jumped into silly mode, remembering Maggie's strange questions to Andy Milman on the excellent Ricky Gervais series, Extras; and here you have the song that mode made.

**I just was singing this at my desk 8/11, and came up with another part, that happens to make the rhyme more complete, so WTH? I added it in.


Would you rather find a dead bird
or live snake?

Would you rather eat a raccoon
or a rock?

Would you rather see your mother going poop
or having sex?

Would you rather fight James T. Kirk
or sleep with Mr. Spock?

(uh, yes, and yes!)

Would you rather lose your best friend
or your purse?

Would you rather know the hour you'll die
or what happens to you afterwards?

Would you rather, would you rather
not have to listen, or not be heard?
Would you rather, would you rather
wear a too small coat or a too large shoe?

Would you rather make an elephant cry
or make an alligator laugh?

Would you rather eat a soggy pie
or a soggy bag of chips?

Would you rather get fired for no good reason
or hired upon a lie?

Would you rather have a decent staycation
or a bad Las Vegas trip?

Would you rather, would you rather
know how to sing, or how to fly?
Would you rather, would you rather
have a stuck-shut door or a broken-open screen?

Would rather be naked in a room of old men wearing suits
or the other way around-- in other words would you rather
see too well, or be well seen?

Would you rather that this song end now
or go for one more verse?

Would rather be a derelict spaceship
or a perfectly working hearse?

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


cindyrella's picture

This made me la! It's clever and funny all the way too. Good one!

coolparadiso's picture

Too many choices! If only i could have one of most! And it did go on one more verse! Fun one!

billwhite51's picture

i like the way this goes everywhere in every direction. could be hilarious in performance.

AndyGetch's picture

Tough questions. There's a plot in there somewhere Smile

tcelliott's picture

Oh, the would you rather hook works very well and I like your sense of rhythm. This was a fun one to read through.

Fuzzy's picture

Some really great choices here.
Hilarious on the surface, but could actually lead to some thoughtful answers.
I like how some of them are strange and bizarre.
I wouldn't want to fight Kirk; dude would karate chop me in the neck.

kc5's picture

I had to check this out on account that my youngest is always posing those, "would you rather" questions to monotony. These sorts of questions I am accustomed to, though I think he'd steer clear of a particular one--still young, ya know... Yours however, are quite comical!

pfoo's picture

Cool that you created a song out of these would-you-rather questions. You could create a whole new song based on the answer to any one of these (and the thoughts and feelings contributing to the answer). And you could go back and answer differently to get a different viewpoint. Songwriting prompts!