Edgar Allen Moe Presents: The Tell-Tale Cellphone

Edgar Allen Moe Presents: The Tell-Tale Cellphone

cts's picture



Liner Notes: 

It's spoken word time at the Jelly Factory! Up tonight we have the Fake Band, Edgar Allen Moe. Keep your ears open for these cats. Today's piece is a situation that's familiar to all: going to the movies and that one person has his cell phone buzzing, ringing...whatever. It's annoying. Here's a spin on the classic story by EAP. Enjoy.!!


U might think me mad
I'm not mad
A mad man couldn't think sensibly about killing somebody
Or could he...?
No, my senses were and R but heightened
My hearing being the most potent above the others
And the 1 that vexed me continually, routinely
That motherfu - that idiot who, would not silence his cell phone
Once I recall this tall, strawberry blonde fellow at the cinema
At the height of suspense I heard, "buzz" 4 what seemed like 4ever
Time being relative, my patience finite
I asked him 2 quiet his cell phone forthright

He did not...

Blue light illuminated my peripheral and then all pitch of night was again restored
Until the 2nd act of the narrative which proved difficult 2 follow
And upon such endeavor came the sound "buzz"
Time being relative, my patience finite
I insisted he turn that machine off forthright

He did not...

Shut if off as my fury was like a mounted steed
Shut that thing off, please!!
Others seemed calloused to the bothersome tone
And throughout the movie I felt so alone
No longer were there moving pictures and sound
but the loudness of silence and impending dread
Just once more a ring and I'm gonna pop him upside the head
Time, time, time, only a matter of time
Before his phone once again challenges my mind
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Time, time, time
Ring! Ring! Ring!

Act 3 is now in progress but I cannot hold back
The patron of rudeness shall once again attack
Ring! Ring! Ring!

This madness must stop but i can't shake the thought
Of leaving this movie and the popcorn I bought
Dear Lord why has it come down 2 this?
I'm guilty! I'm guilty 4 enjoying the bliss
Of grabbing his cell phone and sacrificing it 2 the air
And let my bucket of popcorn rest in his hair...


2019 TJF Music Group

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


nancyrost's picture

Yep, all too familiar. Excellent storytelling and great spoken-word arrangement. Love the switching between literary/current styles of speech. Fun bass bed. And that panning of the sound effects!

billwhite51's picture

really nice sound on the vocal. also like that soft bass riff. on the botton. but the phone itself nearly steals the show. until the climactic scream, that is.

JWHanberry's picture

Well told story. All too familiar these days. Background music moves this along without getting in the way. The narrative has just the right cadence. Good job all around.

coolparadiso's picture

Yes sadly too recognisable as current reality! Very interesting stuff! Nice behind the scenes music that moves it along !

MarkG's picture

A great update on a classic tale. Is it madness seeping in? Or is the character justifiably mad, mad at the inequity of it all? So happy to see that deserved justice prevails in the end.

sph's picture

Wow, super build up. Those little pauses in the backing track make you longing for the next round of madness.

Fuzzy's picture

Yeah, that should be a reasonable excuse for murder.
I went to see the new Tarantino film the other day, and the girl next to me kept digging in her backpack for Doritos (RUSTLE RUSTLE RUSTLE CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH) and then ate a plum or something, with all the sucking and juicy noises that go along with that.
I almost popped her one in the head.
I really liked this; an effective vocal presentation.
Your frustration really comes through in that background voice.
Great backing track for sure.

darcistrutt's picture

"Time being relative, my patience finite" Loved that line. The whole thing was awesome! The total assault on the ear of "ring" was beyond appropriate. Smile

mike skliar's picture

Fantastic! ha, I love the whole thing, and when that certain 'ring ring' voice comes, its one of those sublime moments of joy that we dare not hope for, lest we be disapointed. I was not disapointed! Smile (seriously, tho, great fun! loved it!)

Kristi's picture

Ooh, this is so enjoyable!! Great storytelling and the ever present cell phone is something nowadays we all can relate to...but it enables creative endeavors such as this! Really intelligently conveyed....I especially enjoyed this line: the loudness of silence and impending dread. Great suspense, vocals and music.

NuJ4X's picture

LOL this was awesome! Spoken word with some crazy hi-hats banging in the background was LEGIT! You're such a genius man and you always bring the craziest, most hilarious, and coolest jams! I'm spinning "The Jelly Factory" all year long I promise! LOL

Hope all is well man...keep on keeping on being the awesome and unforgettable talent that you are!

Jessicagraae's picture

You're too funny! This is really creative and weird.

Hey, we've got to finish our song!

sherrycanary's picture

What fun!. Starts with a humming king of buzz and ends up like an angry chipmunk on steroids.
Very creative...and suspenseful