Aging Ophelia's picture


Liner Notes: 

I totally missed today's skirmish because:

I was watching Lady in the Water, which I've seen before, and started thinking along fairy-tale lines. I wondered what Sleeping Beauty would experience if she just woke up about 50-60 years from now.

This just starting falling out of my pen at first. If/when I bring these songs to my band, they tend to undergo some hefty revisions (by me). But the spine is there, mostly.


i woke in a bed
thick with dust
dead vines crawled
over my cheeks and forehead

the debris of years
I never saw
crumbled into my eyes

i did not care

my night had ended
my dreams
my dreams were at hand

awake in a new century
i stretched my mind
through the ruins around me

i saw children behaving like lions
and lions that looked like cats
foraging in alleyways
chasing wounded rats

and the lights once known
were grown dim

streets half-remembered
had disappeared under trash
topped with ash and bodies unburied
there was no scent left anywhere

i woke after a century
wondering who
who had kissed me into this world
i woke with sunburn
on my mouth

lips too cracked to yawn again

struggled back
to find my bed
laid me down
a plastic stone beneath my head

my fist still clutched
one ancient seed, i took it in
soon i will sleep: my dreams
my dreams are ended
night is at hand

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


metalfoot's picture

Lots of vivid images here and a stark reminder of the ephemeral nature of our existence.

kahlo2013's picture

What a wonderful evolution of a fantastic story. There is a palpable intensity to the images and emotion that I love.

OdilonGreen's picture

Nice take / expansion on the classic tale; I like the approach of wondering what happens after the story traditionally ends. Dark but relateable; these words powerfully convey the feeling of being out of touch and out of place, like it would be better to just fade away...

marvsmooth's picture

Wow, what a fabulous idea - a more up to date Sleeping Beauty, waking up after 60 years, into a new century! That difference between 1959 and 2019!

I really really like this a lot, with bits such as “foraging in alleyways chasing wounded rats”, “a plastic stone beneath my head”, showing some wonderfully written beautiful lyrics, with my favourite section being;

“streets half-remembered
had disappeared under trash
topped with ash and bodies unburied
there was no scent left anywhere”


barbara's picture

It’s a well-earned and elegant reversal of the night/dreams outlook by the end. The dawning reality sets in; hope crashes. Just an escape hatch needed now. And I notice, with a wink, the one “m” in Grim. Someday I’d really love to hear how you set your own words to music. I only have little blips of ideas, ones I probably can’t even execute. This one requires some real finesse.

Tim Fatchen's picture

Dark, dark. i could do something with this too, though not right now (inevitably). I know @marvsmooth has applauded it, but this is one glitch that to my obsessive mind trips the flow: if those bodies are unburied, you would have plenty of scent, even years on, believe me (forever tripping over dead cattle, dead sheep, dead camels, dead wildlife in my lonely wanderings). If you mean so long unburied the scent is gone, which is a pretty powerful metaphor, try a "but" in the line?