At Dusk in Your Impala

At Dusk in Your Impala

crisp1's picture

Tags: 

Liner Notes: 

For a female singer.

Please let me know if you'd like to set this to music.

Thanks!

--Doug

Lyrics: 

Verse 1
You sweep me off my feet in school
A trip that takes me way up to
Cloud Nine

I love to look into your eyes
Perfect mirror of the skies
You’re mine

(Chorus)
At dusk in your Impala with the top rolled down
We sit and watch the waves come in
And hear their soothing sound
I tell myself right then and there
You’ll always be around
I tell myself right then and there
You’ll always be around

Verse 2
The draft board says that you’re 1-A
I’m thinking how I hate this day
You shrug

You pat our baby not yet born
Insist you’re not afraid of war
We hug

(Chorus)
At dusk in your Impala with the top rolled down
We sit and watch the waves come in
And hear their soothing sound
I tell myself right then and there
You’ll always be around
I tell myself right then and there
You’ll always be around

(Bridge)
You promise it won’t be a one-way trip
Then sail across the ocean on a Navy ship
I wave a long goodbye from the dock
A few weeks later comes the hardest knock

Verse 3
I give birth to Melissa May
One serene September day
She cries

Now when I bring her close to me
You know what I can’t help but see
Your eyes

(Final Chorus)
At dusk in your Impala with the top rolled down
I look into Melissa’s eyes
And hear the ocean’s sound
I tell myself right then and there
You’ll always be around
I tell myself right then and there
You’ll always be around



Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.

Comments

ausongs's picture

"A few weeks later comes the hardest knock" <---- favourite line. That's the song.

I appreciate the use of specific names "Melissa May" and mentioning the "Impala", and it's not too much which is great. Personally I go overboard with specifics, but I think this is a nice balance of specifics and generalities. Enough to make the story believable, but still general enough for widespread identification.

Also the reason I clicked on this to read your work was because of the title "At Dusk In Your Impala", it makes me think of an Edward Hopper painting. Anyway I always reckon that's a good yardstick of a song, if someone has a visceral pull to it, which I did with the title to this song.

cindyrella's picture

Gosh, this tugged at my heart so much! I love the chorus and the who song and I sure hope it gets music!

jcollins's picture

Nice opening verse! Nice chorus...looks pretty catchy. The second verse is very good too. Lots of great rhymes here. Oh wow, that bridge is powerful and scary. The third verse is very good. The final chorus is excellent. Pretty good songwriting Doug. Great job on this. Hope to hear a demo so let me know if you get a taker, thanks.

tcelliott's picture

Again you're able to nail the whole vibe of the song, make it really stick, in that third verse. You've got a way of doing that. A nice build to the story and though it wasn't completely unexpected, it still hit home pretty hard.

theresaj's picture

Ok, I’m totally hooked. Can I do this one? It may take some time but I’ll do my best.
Life goals...learn to write lyrics like Doug...