Dark Clouds

Dark Clouds

Amanda West's picture
Feast

Tags: 

Demo: 

Collaborators: 

Liner Notes: 

I was unwell yesterday (Saturday 6th July) and missed the super-skirmish.
So this morning I decided to write to one or more of the SS prompts, to get me going again. I picked @johnstaples topic of Storms etc.
I wrote the verses first, then the chorus and then the bridge, then went back and changed the rhythm of the verses, and the hook of the chorus lol
It is still very much a work in progress, but for now I am posting it.

If you are interested in a 50/90 collab on this, please see my info re collabs on my profile page Smile

Sun 7th July
@helen is kindly going to collab on this (for both GYAWS and 50/90), so watch this space Smile

Sat 13th July
@helen sent me the link to this wonderfully dark track, which sums up the songs feeling really well - thank you Helen Smile

Lyrics: 

v1
When the grey meets my eyes I can feel the damp within
An overpowering energy that threatens to unhinge
All the misery and loneliness forced down and out of sight
There's nothing on the surface, nothing on the surface
And I can't cry

Chorus
Covered in dark clouds
Burned-out scarred clouds
Death walk marred clouds
An endless ashen mist

v2
When the storm rolls away, things usually renew
With a fresh smell of cleanliness on everything like dew
But I cannot see the other side as nothing ever moves
Just pushing through the quicksand, pushing through the quicksand
Yet I'm alive

Chorus
Covered in dark clouds
Burned-out scarred clouds
Death walk marred clouds
An endless ashen mist

Bridge
I can taste my morning coffee with a croissant on the side
Life carries on despite it all
Maybe this is my default
Maybe I'll be always unresovled

Chorus
Covered in dark clouds
Burned-out scarred clouds
Death walk marred clouds
An endless ashen mist



Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.

Comments

musicsongwriter's picture

Very powerful dark lyrics Amanda. I'm very interested in hearing them. Please let me know of the demo when you have it. Hope you feel better.
Nadia

3tdoan's picture

Really like the imagery and clever use of internal rhyme with dark/scarred/marred, that's tight writing.

JWHanberry's picture

Your language shows how much you worked on this. Very well done. I like how things brighten up at the bridge. Good job.

Ferry Colyer's picture

Such a fine description of hopelessness and lack of perspective. I'll be back when the demo is up!

metalfoot's picture

"Endless ashen mist" -- that's not a happy image at all! Really potent lyrics. I look forward to hearing what helen does with it!

EDIT:
That's a really interesting and dark accompaniment to the lyrics-- not at all what I had expected but awesome!

Valerie Cox's picture

You have made a really cool sounds on this. Very catchy beat. Love the vocal effects and insistent push in the chorus. Very cool! Music is a great match for the dark lyrics though it's probably more angry with the music than sad. There's a rage element that I like. Pushes it more towards the frustration tag that Amanda had.

Ferry Colyer's picture

Who could have expected this? I like that the lyrics took this form, musically. It"s full of strength and it takes the lyrics to a level of not feeling sorry for oneself, rather willing to share frustration and go for another state of mind. The music is like a cure to the lyrics. Thanks for letting me know, Amanda!

Chip Withrow's picture

Wow! What an intense and brilliant musical interpretation of the words!
I love the lyrics - amazing and unique word choices. And had I just read the words, I would not at all have expected the jolting, jarring, propulsively danceable groove (exuberant vocals, too) Helen came up with. Excellent collab!

That chorus is awesome lyrically and musically! Great vocals Helen, and killer lyrics!

expendable friend's picture

I LOVE that backing - very Celldweller. Teach me!! And that chorus kicks ass. Love the rhymes within the lines (dark/scarred). Great stuff.

wobbie wobbit's picture

wow love it! what a great treatment of such already strong lyrics. i love where it goes double feel at the end of the verses with that repeated line ready for the thunderous chorus. top top collab, totally enjoyable listen, well done both!

TheTau's picture

Love that Bass, and stormy it is. The storm is here