A cinnamon raisin bagel with lox

A cinnamon raisin bagel with lox

mike skliar's picture



Liner Notes: 

So last week just before the primary election for NY State governor (and some other races) , Cynthia Nixon, who was the challenger to our current gov, (Andrew Cuomo) had a press conference at a well known NYC food place, and ordered a cinnamon raisin bagel, with lox, cream cheese and capers. (traditionally, you'd have the lox, cream cheese etc on something less sweet, such as a poppy seed, onion, sesame or 'everything' bagel, for example)

Anyway, this weird food order got written up in the NYC press, and a friend of mine challenged me to write a song about it.. so here it is.

Oh and she lost the election, btw- tho im not sure 'bagelgate' played a big part!)



There’s a category of things that are great on their own
But together are not, as the Israelis say, ‘beseder’
Like working for the Russians while running a US presidential campaign
Just might get you thought of as a traitor
And if you lobby on behalf of oil and gas interests
You should not be running the EPA
But think of the things that really mix the least
And this is what I’d say:

A cinnamon raisin bagel is a sweet bite of heaven
With maybe some melted butter lightly toasted
But recently an NYC politician wanna be
Went to Zabar’s and proudly boasted
That on her cinnamon raisin bagel, this is what she ordered
cream cheese and capers and lox
If I was even thinking of voting for her before
I could not abide this gastronomic paradox

Mixing sweet things and smoked fish is just not done
Like having chocolate on your t bone steak
No matter what you might call that creation
It’s a Shanda, in other words, a colossal mistake
So know this, politician and spokesman of the future
If you want a vote from me
When having bagels with a schmeer, if you’re anywhere near
For the bagel, try poppy seed or sesame
Pumpernickel, egg bagel, or onion, or everything
Keep the cinnamon raisin for that last dessert course
Cause in New York City, they will have no pity
Your bagel order is grounds for divorce!

(c) M. Skliar 2018

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


metalfoot's picture

Yeah, you totally don't put salty stuff on a cinnamon raisin bagel. That's just WEIRD.

In NYC that should be reason to never get elected. LOL. Sign you don't *get* it.

Fun/funny song, sir! I enjoyed it.

standup's picture

I hear ya. I love progressives in general. But I have had bagels in New York, and a resident of New York she should have known better. As a protestant who grew up in the South, I would have known better.

nancyrost's picture

I could say that this song writes itself, but that's not quite true. You way you set up the serious verse before the mock-serious verses is awesome. The jaunty music is a nice fit too. Lox/gastronomic paradox, and dessert course/grounds for divorce for the win!

kahlo2013's picture

Not another just an odd breakfast song.... love the great examples of things that should never ever really go together... one of my favorites given the quirky hook! Awesome delivery too! Could this be the first sociopolitical bagel song ever????