I Can't Dance (Non-Seductively)

I Can't Dance (Non-Seductively)

OdilonGreen's picture



Liner Notes: 

This is a collaboration, although the other party is not here on 50/90. It’s also a bit of a cheat, because work on this song actually began this past June.

Specifically, I was going to the epic 5-hour concert thrown every year by Matt Farley of Motern Media, and so was Melvin, a fellow musician who was coming all the way from Belgium. Melvin and I were both trying to convince a third person, Neil, to also attend the show, and Melvin, jokingly, promised to “dance seductively” for Neil if he came. Neil commented that watching Melvin dance “seductively” wasn’t much of an inducement, to which Melvin responded “I can’t dance non-seductively.”

I thought that was a great line, and immediately asked Melvin if he wanted to collaborate on a song of that title. We started working together shortly at the concert, but didn’t come close to finishing, and due to the vagaries of life and long-distance collaboration, I didn’t actually put it all together or record my vocals until yesterday.

Anyway, here’s the breakdown:

Melvin: vocals (chorus); synth (intro, bridge, chorus); bass (verses)

Me: lyrics; vocals (verse); drums; piano & other synths (verses, bridge); bass (chorus); mix & master

The vocals on the bridge are from my new toy, Vocaloid 5.

My singing on the second half of the verses (the first half of the verses is kind of rapped) is especially awful. But I do rap “shake that ass” for the first time ever in one of my songs, and with real conviction too. Biggrin (That word, incidentally, is the sole reason that I, in an abundance of caution, labeled this "NSFW")


I Can’t Dance (Non-Seductively)
(c) 2018 Odilon Green & Spinneweb


It’s party time
I’m a man in my prime
The beat that’s pounding sounds mighty sublime

I think that you’re
Excited for
What will happen on the dance floor

But first you need
To be completely freed
From any misconception if we’re gonna succeed

There’s just one way
This can go today
The way I dance ain’t no damn ballet


Dance that booty all around
Shake it till you move the ground
Release all that you keep inside
Let the rhythm be your guide

Set your body free tonight
My hips will be your guiding light
I do it fast, I can’t go slow
There’s one more thing you need to know


I can’t dance non-seductively
The only way to live is passionately
I can’t dance non-seductively
I dance for you; you dance for me


You may say
This event today
Is not about such a vulgar display

You think this band
Makes no demand
To let your body heat take command

You’re clearly wrong
There ain’t no song
Where it doesn’t belong to grind along

So are you in
For a night of sin
Just shake that ass and we can begin




[Shake it]
[Shake that booty]


Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


kahlo2013's picture

Ha! I totally love this song and the liner notes! I am left with visions in my head of this guy doing his seductive dance and eyes rolling all over the place. Great dance groove and vocal deliveries! Fun song. Have to listen again!

atitlan's picture

Love the idea behind the song and you've executed it as a real floor-filler of a dance track. Interesting to hear the Vocaloid vocal, too - sounds good.

yam655's picture

This was great! There's something about the delivery of Melvin's chorus that's low-key enough that I have no idea as to whether the line is serious or not. (I mean, was that sung with the passion that would be present in the dance?) Very fun.

katpiercemusic's picture

I love that this is your bar for NSFW, considering some of the stuff that's played on the radio on a regular basis. Also, musically, you're doing a lot in here. Seems you're really pushing yourself this year. This is really something to be proud of! I love the layers of sound and the shifting of mood between different sections. And yes, this whole thing is with conviction. Bravo!

Fuzzy's picture

This is hilarious!
I was dancing non-seductively (which is the only way I can dance) all over my livingroom.
Lovely vocals from both parties.
I especially love the robot vox during the bridge.
A really outstanding track you guys produced here.
Well done!!

Technicolor Gramophone's picture

Shake that ass! Really catchy dance tune with hilarious lyrics. Love the trade-off of vocals and the sexy female robot voice!

AprilM's picture

Love it! Great vocal effects, it's danceable (seductively or not lol), and catchy

Kristi's picture

This is fun! Very danceable! Ha. I like the angle you chose to take as far as the person telling the story. The chorus is a lot of fun. I can see its very own dance moves there! Good vocal performances! And the music is ambitious and catchy! Good work!

fresh spotless youth's picture

Your're on top of your game here, for real. I mean, it's just a non-stop hook fiesta all the way through. Pretty funny, too. I like the idea that EVERY song should compel us to grind along. Puff the Magic Dragon? Shake that ass! Kids don't need to be told

spirulence's picture

This is cheesy in all the right ways. Great story behind the story, and yes, you say 'shake that ass' with great conviction, I totally agree. More collaborations! Your voices sound good contrasting each other.

wobbie wobbit's picture

can just imagine the bad dad dancing. nice backing, very danceable groove. nice collab