You're Not in a Cage

colgoo's picture

You're Not in a Cage



Liner Notes: 

So, I took my challenge but am having some issues with uploading the music, so I'll resolve that later....

I gave myself an additional challenge (since I was the one knowing the theme in advance) of using story cubes. (Eye, world, jump, bridge, home)

I rolled a five, so that gave me eight syllable lines for the rhythm challenge.

Wrote my tune using the chords of the theme.

Used 4/5 of the bonus words.


1. You're telling me that we will fail
I've trapped you in a dusty cell
Plucked your feathers; you can't be free
The nest so high; can't leave our tree

Jump away from the red hot coals
If you feel that we lack shared goals
You're not a prisoner of love
I'm not the warden of your heart
If staying's not worth it, my dove,
Fly away. Fly so we're apart.

2. I'd sail across the world for you
When I look in your eyes, it's true.
Love's there, but we're missing a map.
I'll build a bridge to fix our gap.

I'd jump into red hot coals
If you say we have shared goals
I'll hang on in spite of the shit
Even through thorns and thistles
I love you and you are worth it
Hold on. Hold on despite bristles.

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


cindyrella's picture

Wonderful take on your skirmish! And with the story cube too. I hope you get your music to quit being a problem. Love it!

Chip Withrow's picture

I love the wordplay and rhyming - would like to hear the music, too.

AndyGetch's picture

A lot of stuff going on in these two verses, well done!

JWHanberry's picture

Well presented situation. Anxious to hear it set to music.

Rob From Amersfoort's picture

Interesting structure, first saying that the other is free to leave, and then in the second verse that you still love that person. "Love's there, but we're missing a map" is a great line! Thanks for the challenge!

barbara's picture

I'm eager to hear this with your music. It's a juicy point of conflict for a couple; it almost sounds like it could be a duet, as both sides of the fork in the road are being explored. I like the way the "home" cube becomes translated into "nest" and "tree"--the spirit of the cube is there. You are the supreme parameter setter! Thanks for the skirmish.