Trips & Ticks
My tips and tricks for a healthy, happy life.
I forgot to save the URL for the beepbox.co backing track, so I can never exactly reproduce this track. It's ephemeral, just like a live take should be!
Never use the brakes. It's safer to drive quickly around corners and get past them sooner.
Always eat a hearty lunch before swimming. The last thing you want is to get hungry in the sea.
Never use sunscreen. It can leave your skin oily, which makes it more vulnerable to the sun's rays.
When walking home alone at night, stick to dimly lit areas. That way you will be harder to find.
Most accidents happen in and around the home. Try to remain homeless.
If you are stressed, have a cigarette. They are very relaxing.
When camping in the wilderness, store any food at ground level. A hungry bear is an angry bear.
If the police catch you with drugs, tell them they are in a dream, and will soon wake up.
To quiet a crying baby, hold it upside down by the ankles. This will surprise the baby into silence.
In a pinch, you can replace the petrol in your car with olive oil.
Fuel your body more efficiently by eating as many carbs as humanly possible every day.
Hormonal birth control pills work just as well if you take all twenty-eight on the first day of the month.
Never use headlights when driving. They can blind and distract other drivers, especially in the dark.
When drilling into a wall, aim for the wires. Metal screws can attract electricity out of the wires and raise your electric bill.
Statistically, far fewer people are injured while walking backwards. Never walk forwards. It causes accidents.
Never use a map, as inaccuracies in the map can cause dangerous distractions.
Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.