On Loss

colgoo's picture

On Loss



Liner Notes: 

I've experienced a lot of loss in my life. (Haven't we all?) I tried to express some of the loss with a family member today who was trying to understand my recent decisions. She proceeded to say several hurtful things that made me realize that she's not in a place to be there for my pain and loss.

The thing about these types of conversations is they make awesome fertilizer for songs. So thank you for pushing me to turn to my favorite therapist. My guitar never tells me that I need to repent or forgive. It just lets me pour out all those feelings into songs.

This is a rough demo. I think I may want to come back to this song later and improve on it.


1. You told me: Get over it!
Just forgive and move on.
You're young, dear. Don't dwell on it!
Be thankful. Be strong.

So I buried my feelings deep down in my soul.
Thought I was healing, smiled big, said "Let's roll!"


The truth about loss is: you've got to feel it.
There isn't a timeframe. There isn't a limit.
We all feel it different. There isn't a ruler.
Ignored, it brings shame or makes you turn crueler.

2. They told us: You've grieved enough.
It's in your head. Change your mind.
We know your pain. This is hard stuff.
They're in a better place, so don't whine.

How do you measure a hole that's this wide?
Why do folks ignore you; set you aside?
Is it because they're scared of these feelings?
Does the thought of compassion leave them reeling?

Chorus: (2x)
The truth about loss is: you've GOT to feel it.
There isn't a time frame. There is no limit.

Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.


kahlo2013's picture

I can totally relate to this song - you describe it so well - we all identify and deal with loss in vastly different ways - for some, moving on quickly works, but for many of us feel it for a long time and you describe that hole so well. I am sorry for the loss you are feeling. Music is a wonderful therapist. Many of my songs over the last year have helped me deal with some changes and challenges. hugs to you.

edsmaron's picture

I feel this. I'm working a raw nerve myself this entire month. But it's nearly healed.
Good for you for doing a wonderful job putting your soul out there. Keep it up, this is good stuff.
Also, you beat me to the Week 3 assignment lol

cindyrella's picture

You captured this so well and I think most could relate. My dear friend has lost her second husband and would love this. Great song!

3tdoan's picture

The sentiment is so true. Deeply felt vocals.

philmcmill's picture

I read the lyrics first - very powerful! I like the music too. I've got a minor suggestion - take it or leave it. You seem to have a pre-chorus after the 1st verse (nice), but the pre-chorus at the end seems even better with it being twice as long - maybe add a couple of lines at the beginning of the 1st pre-chorus to match the length of the 2nd?

French Cricket's picture

The guitar is a great listener isn't it? Non-judgy and always there for you.

The chorus in this is so well stated, and moving and I like the concept of measuring the unmeasurable. Quantifying the unquantifiable.

I can totally relate to turning to my guitar for therapy I haven't experienced much loss in life yet (touch wood) but your song is comprehensive enough to feel empathy for the protagonist and frustration at patronising comments. Nice delivery too - achingly heart felt. Favourite line is how do you measure a hole that wide?

Jyllian's picture

Really wonderfully put. Great expression. I really love that chorus! The "crueler" part is so true.