Another Crack In The Wall

kahlo2013's picture

Another Crack In The Wall

Tags: 

Liner Notes: 

Starting with the cover song for what I hope will be a rock album that emerges with the help of collaborators during 5090.

I envision a driving rock beat on this with a kind of punk attitude

DEMO Added as a new song by Andrew - checknit our

http://fiftyninety.fawmers.org/song/21940

Lyrics: 

DEMO with these lyrics added as a new song by Andrew- Check it out

http://fiftyninety.fawmers.org/song/21940

Another Crack in the Wall

V1
another crack in the wall
another jack with no ball
another day...
to get through

another rip in the sail
another slip off the rail
another day...
without you

PC
another day... wasted...

C
staring at a crack...
at a crack...
at a crack in the wall

staring at a crack....
at a crack....
another crack.......in the wall

V2
another tear in my eye
another prayer and soft cry
another day...
to get through

another ache in my heart
another place far apart
another day....
without you

PC
another day...wasted...

C
staring at a crack...
at a crack...
at a crack in the wall

staring at a crack....
at a crack....
another crack.......in the wall

B
when founda...tions shift
problems grow....
walls crack, brea...k, crumble
and decay....
but cracks in our hearts...
never go....
they never go away

PC
another day spent...

C
staring at a crack...
at a crack...
at a crack in the wall

staring at a crack....
at a crack....
another crack.......in the wall



Please keep your comments respectful, honest, and constructive. Please focus on the song and not the demo.

Comments

cindyrella's picture

Oh this blows me away! I got tears in my eyes and goosebumps. Superb!

I like the way it flows, it'll be an interesting song in that genre I am sure!

Stephen Wordsmith's picture

I like your approach here - the constant drive of the structure and all the repetition reinforces the idea of the steady spread of cracks.

Some of the couplets are especially good - 'another rip in the sail / another slip off the rail' integrates both rhyme and internal rhyme without looking like you did it on purpose. Well done.

Donna Devine's picture

Really good dynamic drive in the repetitions and excellent rhyming couplets. I like the 'fractured' structure. It conveys very well the singer's frustration, sadness, and desperation.

Valerie Cox's picture

I like the rhythm in these words. Flows so well. Sister use of words and the repetitions give it a lot of good punch.

Kristi's picture

This flows naturally and effortlessly. I like all the "other cracks" you provide, "another place far apart"; "another ache in my heart"; etc. The repetitions really drive home the message and turn up the emotion. Great stuff!

Technicolor Gramophone's picture

Thanks for your comment on "Tangerine Light"! I can totally see this as a raging punk rock song ... some great lines in the bridge re: foundations and cracking. All flows very nicely!

Acousticmaddie's picture

Great rythm and I would say great break.up song in a relation where they s just dont realize how things are. NICE

garner's picture

the bridge really ties the whole song together for me ... excellent lyrics ... the pain and heartbreak are crystal clear ... it would be interesting to hear a rock punk driving arrangement... that would certainly add an element of angst and anger ... nice job

downburst's picture

I kind of hear an early R.E.M. thing here... very nice. (And hi Liz!)

auldy's picture

great lyrics! I reckon I've got an idea for you, message sent Smile

helen's picture

You can really feel the driving rhythm when reading these words. There's a certain manic desperation about them. Really effective

Riverbear14's picture

This is really good.. I first read the line another place...to fall apart, but I was wrong. Good job! and thank you for the review!!

colgoo's picture

This is fantastic. I already hear the tune with just one read-through.