Songs about exes

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We all write these, right? Every song I've ever written about love gone wrong originated from my experiences.

I don't think I've ever hurt anyone's feelings, I fictionalize what I'm writing. I don't think I ever wrote a song about what a jerk or loser an ex was.

I'm working on something now that's more true, less fiction. About something that happened a long time ago, with somebody who's geographically and socially pretty far away.

But I think it will have details that would be identifiable to her. But I doubt she'll ever hear it.

What do y'all think?

In songs that could possibly be recognizable I change names and other descriptive or location details. Another way I have depersonalized a song it is to write it in third person.

I write a lot about my (now) ex - I was writing about him before the break up and I am writing about it now. Helps me get through it. If she ever says anything just break out in song..."You're so vain...." LOL

Change the identifiable details of it makes you feel more comfortable. I find most people assume the song is about them anyway, so give a hearty " really? No, if I wrote it about you, you'd know it", then start humming Carly Simon while making slow finger circles around your ear.

Our exes provide so may many wonderful colorful threads to weave songs with, so absolutely! None however are necessarily about any one person and the fabric that is created has lots of other thoughts and ideas thrown in with a health does of personal bias. Thus, while some exes may assume song are about them and in some cases they are right, most often songs start with a kernel of truth and quickly spin into a tapestry of fiction and folly that express some emotion I had or have related to something that might or might or have happened. Every time I used to write a song about looking for love or about loss of love, my wife would always need reassurance that it was not about problems in our relationship. She has learned now that my thoughts are everywhere and she does not take anything I write personally which is a good thing!

Every song i've written this year relates to my divorce on some level. Its a fucked up situation, I need to vent. Music is my vehicle. If she hears it, finds it, well, fuck it! Sincerely, not jaded or cynical in the slightest, Peter Arvidson ;-D. Ok some of my songs are just for fun. But still! Good post.

I've straight-up made songs about exes which would land me an earful if she heard it.

I don't really care. I didn't make the songs for her.

Ha! Now I need to back and listen to your songs!

Always change names, you just never know about unintended consequences. I've made songs, however, so cryptic, Smile it then became another song entirely, -- but "that" was a big help to "purge the movie", from headspace, the subtext that presented itself.

We are all very different, yet we have music in common. For me, bottom line it has to be *entertaining, and not negative (unless funny, which is not negative... careful of the baseball bats to trucks songs though Smile )

Here's one I did this 5090 finished it:
http://fiftyninety.fawmers.org/song/31576

-- This one, "josephine" shows up in songs, different names, but all my songs are about real life, well, usually in that I don't write about birds and trees and colorful fields, etc. (unless a pub dom rewrite like "pikes peak").

Here's the one that became "another" song due to the subtext that came out since was so cryptic no one would know what it's about:
http://fiftyninety.fawmers.org/song/33852

No one would ever guess what it's about, or probably care, -- but I am glad I posted it and got the resolution to it. The spring harvest craze was literally from conversations we had about who would be found in what shallow grave, plowed up, spring plowing, deliberately for proper burrial, -- from a time in LE. So, if one knows what the song is "about", it's not that hard to decipher, not really, but a general audience, won't have any idea, nor should it.

-- I think this is a great, wise to do topic to discuss; even demo the demo first for feedback to specific questions. My "delete it, or keep it" songs, are just that. FAWM5090 never fails me. I otherwise do delete or krappe pile many songs, -- then find out folks actually prefer what I might otherwise delete, -- go figure that! Crazy (old story, aye!) What I personally "love"... eh, not so many plays, -- too funny!!

So the line that started it off (still writing, nowhere near done): I heard your song about the man you loved / it didn't mention my name.

If she heard that, she'd know what I was talking about. The song is an instrumental, so it mentions no names, that's my own personal inside joke.

But again, chances of her hearing a 50/90 song are very close to zero. And. But. This was a long time ago, and I don't know if she still plays that song ever (I heard she has kinda stopped writing and performing). And I don't know if she would care if it did somehow cross her awareness. But if she did hear it, it would definitely be digging up old feelings we may have both forgotten for the most part.

The song is on a home-burned CD that's in my car. I made it a long time ago, and haven't heard it in years until this week.

Art demands that there be no limitations. Only change it if it makes it a better song.

Heartache provides a ton of inspiration. Just go with it.

My last album was about 85% based off of relationships I've been in. One of those that was a breakup song was unmistakably about a specific breakup and I would not change a thing about it. If you feel the muse moving you to put specifics in go with it.

OK, got this done. There's more truth in this song than most of the things I write.

http://fiftyninety.fawmers.org/song/34728

Exes are fair game. Don't screw with a writer's heart unless you're willing to be skewered on the page. That goes for ex friends, teachers, parents & bosses, too.