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dzd's picture

I try to not sleep
Can plunk and tinkle instead
While others catch zzzzz's

Trials of old age;
Have a tinkle in the night.
Maybe two or three.

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As long as it don't
Burn when you pee, growing old
Will be fine by me

Better than dead young
From some random STD
Worse places to be

A Lawyer lady
Came to my door to threaten.
I passed her my toad.

When you meet a toad
Unlike old Bodhidarma,
Do not kill the toad! Smile

Fixing depression
Needs an altered mind. And so...
I got the toad licked

I lived down the road
From famed Toad Suck, Arkansas
Now I live near Hell.


But what do toads suck?
I wonder if they use straws
For all that sucking.

Toads can only suck
As they're pulled out of the mud.
("It's pulled toad for tea!")

Pulled toad sandwiches
Should be an old favorite
With Detroit zip sauce.

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Zip sauce is the best
Toads, turtles, possums, and bats
Dipped in zip mmm, mmm.

No eating the bats!
Those virus-filled miracles
eat bugs bugs bugs and more bugs!

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There is great protein
In those tasty crunchy bugs
Chocolate covered

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Accidently ate
A June-bug the other day
Dangerous yawning

The recipe for
Chocolately Chirrupy
Cookies is right here:
Yeah that's my alma mater. Smile

There's an insect farm
In the small town where I live.
Edible crickets.

I'm very happy
Humanity's future's safe!
Too old to eat bugs! Smile

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Those cookies look good
Just don't share ingredients
And will be enjoyed

Furry Bogong Moth
Toast it in the campfire coals
Worth trav'lling far for

Finiku writer
Here is safe harbour!

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Too hot for thinking
sweat boils thoughts retreating
going back to bed

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3a.m. still hot
Why did I even bother
There is tomorrow

Dank and cold right here.
I know! I'll go out sailing!
Danker and colder.

Sometimes there's envy
For northerners in summer.
Then I read the news....

News today: oh boy
How the hell did we get here?
Corruption still stinks.

Dead things need pruning
Flowers, plants thrive under blades
Same goes for leaders

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Long walks and short piers
Sometimes one just needs a bath
Maybe stay a while

On hold with the Man
Guess he doesn't want taxes
He never answers...

Uncle Sam Wants You
to stay on hold forever...
No pesky questions!

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The man of taxes
Never gave me stimulus
Payment stop next year Wink

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I was told somewhere
Tax fraud is just smart business
We'll see how that goes

Tax avoidance, ugh.
It's the American way.
Like going maskless.

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Zorro masks don't count
Saw one who wore a clan hood
'Merican as pie

Only drink wine on
Every third evening
Tonight’s the night! Biggrin

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Every third hour
Doctors orders, so said I
No PHD here

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Can't wait for August
One thirteen here in the shade
Summertime is fun

docious! Even...whoops

Taking classes on
How to teach classes online
And their website sucks.

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A horse is a horse
Unless of course that horse is
A crap course online

Academics make
(Not sure sample's big enough)
Odd fellow students.

Is your name Gertrude?
lady doth protest too much
methinks you'll survive

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Toothaches are a bitch
Half tempted to yank it out
Who is a dentist

Their world is well beyond strange.
That's why I fled it.

Some say that I'm strange.
But in academia
I was the sane one.

Lonely days and nights
When you're sane in the madhouse.
You leave or go mad.

If you stay, then it's
The God-Professor syndrome.
(Students worship you)

Weariness cuts in.
Though I can manage haiku,
Lyrics defeat me.

I'm limping along
To physiotherapy...
Comes from a lead foot.

Trouble with lyrics?
Have I got a guy for you!
Name's Stephen something.

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Oh I know that guy!
Quite the vocalist as well!
Hawking was his name? Biggrin